sacrificetoliddy

(myneedsaregreat)

You may attempt to curry favour with me by carrying charms; by chalking hexes on your doorstep; by bookmarking my homepage, or even making it your starting page.

Or you can do what works: offering a sacrifice to me, Liddy.

I have prepared a short list of things you may wish to offer. Feel free to type in something else.

I promise you nothing but a fleeting moment of my attention.

The CNN Website
My first-born
My car
A fatted calf
A fatted Grey
A mutilated calf
A fat Grey with a piercing
Radio talk-show host Dr. Laura Schlesinger
Sci-fi writer and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard
The first girl/boy I ever kissed
Prozac tablets

Viagra tablets
My local Militia
A Black Helicopter
My copy of Black Helicopters Over America
My copy of the Weekly World News
My Bat-Boy t-shirt
My autographed Bat-Boy t-shirt
Microsoft
A picture of J. Edgar Hoover in a sundress
Linus Torvalds
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
Naked pictures
Nekkid pictures

Something else:

Click here to drop your sacrifice into the Fire of the Altar of Liddy:

There have been notnearlyenough since inception. DON'T STOP NOW.

PLEASE NOTE: No results are guaranteed from the sacrificetoliddy page. While every effort is made to ensure a fair consideration of your sacrifice, our current understanding of the universe cannot explain exactly what happens when the Submit button is pressed. Liddy has been known to banish to the Eighth Layer of Hell those who offend him with insufficient or inappropriate sacrifices; this is his version of kindness. Some symptoms of Liddy's pleasure include feeling a slight chill, warmth, breeze, or touch; blurring of vision; loss of faith; momentary blackouts; amnesia; sleeplessness; sleep apnea; being late for work; being laid off; never getting laid again; priapism; Stockwell's syndrome; the Stockholm syndrome; Induced Tourette's Syndrome; Geriatric Profanity Disorder; drunkenness; aphasia; or glossolalia. Symptoms of Liddy's wrath are too numerous to mention. Neither are normal, but they are the unavoidable consequences of disturbing the basic order of things. NEITHER THIS PAGE, ITS AUTHOR, THE HOST OF THIS WEBSITE, MAE-WEST, MAE-EAST, YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, THE MANUFACTURER OF YOUR COMPUTER, EMACS, CISCO COMPUTER SYSTEMS, DIGITAL NATION, LINUX ONE, NETSCAPE, SLASHDOT, SLACKWARE, THE CITY OF VANCOUVER, THE CITY OF DETROIT, PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, THE UNITED NATIONS, THE G-7 NATIONS, 7-11, NASDAQ, LO-JACK, THE WORLD TRADE ORGANISATION, SUN-RYPE PRODUCTS LIMITED, SUN COMPUTERS LIMITED, POPE JOHN PAUL II, VERONICA LEUKEN, EBAY, HARWOOD CANYON, LUCKY VANOUS, BURTON HARDESTY, 18WOJ.COM, PROJECT GUTENBURG, LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, RAEL, THE FLOATING HEAD OF AYN RAND, YAHOO.COM, THE UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD, THE MASSACHUSSETS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY MEDIA LAB, XEROX PALO ALTO RESEARCH CENTRE, MICROSOFT, LINUS TORVALDS, ERIC S. RAYMOND, ERIS, J.R. "BOB" DOBBS, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY NOR YOUR GOD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF LOADING, VIEWING, BELIEVING, OR EVEN BEING WITHIN THREE HYPERLINKS OF THIS PAGE. YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND LIDDY IS THE MOWER; MAY HE HAVE MERCY UPON YOUR SOUL.

Your mileage may vary.