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And you thought Linus was good.

I've collected my formerly-disparate web pages advertising software I've written into one unified whole. Feel the love, baby.

Here you'll find some random projects I've worked on that, I flatter myself, might be useful to others. Enjoy, and let me know if they're of any use to you.

mailtest

Quick and double-dirty hack using Perl's Net::Telnet module to send a quick email using a specified mail server. Allows you to watch the SMTP conversation as it unfolds in SUPER-REALTIME^tm. The only advantage over Mail::Mailer is that Net::Telnet is part of a standard install where I live. Expanded (such as it is) from this article. Licensed under the GPL, baby.

Version 1.0 available here!

oz2remind

A Small but Useful(tm) Perl script to convert the datebook.xml file used by the calendar app in OpenZaurus' Opie to Remind format, or -- new feature! -- from Remind to OpenZaurus. Licensed under the GPL, baby.

Version 0.2 available here!

Windflower

A Small but Useful(tm) wrapper around the Microsoft Security Baseline Analyzer. It runs on Perl and, though in early days yet, runs over SSH -- no interactivity required (assuming the patches work...). Licensed under the GPL, baby.

Version 0.3 available here! Changelog here!

mrtg-select

I use MRTG to graph all kinds of stuff, and looking at those graphs on the same page helps me detect correlations. ("Say, Professor -- that spike in CPU temperature came right when the Rapture Index hit a three-year high!") mrtg-select lets me pick a subset of graphs to be displayed on the same page, based on keyword and time span. And the best part is that it figures out the keywords automagically just by being pointed at the directory where the graphs live -- there's no config file to update. Licensed under the GPL, baby.

Version 1.0 available here!

graphit

A Small but Useful(tm) command-line utility to turn logs into histograms. Example:

$ graphit -s 10 -z 5 < /var/log/maillog | head
Aug 14 03:10   167   ****************                                                   +
Aug 14 03:15    43   ****                                                               +
Aug 14 03:20   105   **********                                                         +
Aug 14 03:25    58   *****                                                              +
Aug 14 03:30    44   ****                                                               +
Aug 14 03:35    32   ***                                                                +
Aug 14 03:40    53   *****                                                              +
Aug 14 03:45     8                                                                      +
Aug 14 03:50    43   ****                                                               +
Aug 14 03:55    68   ******                                                             +

Licensed under the GPL, baby. Version 1.0 available here!

Formmail Weasel

Hate spammers, but love statistics? Combine these two objects of detestation/desire at long last using Formmail Weasel, the only (well, probably not) program that lets you log the fuckers that want to abuse Matt's Formmail script. Requires Perl, Perl's DBI and DBD::mysql modules, MySQL, and a burning desire to humiliate spammers. Licensed under the GPL, baby.

Version 0.21 available here!

FortuneLiddy

The world's first fully buzzword-compliant fortune web thingy. It's:

written in PHP
database-driven
object-oriented

About the only thing it doesn't have is ::flehdots::.

The README does a beter job of explaining what it's all about. Or you can just jump in and download it. Released under the BSD license, baby.

First Development Release! @Woo! Get version 0.1 today!

Jobjar

What can I say? I wanted a better way to procrastinate, and here it is.

Jobjar is a Small but Useful (tm) utility to manage a list of non-critical jobs to do...you know, like a job jar. You can add a job to the jar, you can remove a job, or you can just print out a job for you to do. In the grand tradition of Unix, the list is called ~/.jobjar and is a simple text file. None of your binary Windows nonsense here...no, sir! And in the grand tradition of GNU software, it's released under the GPL, baby. What more could you possibly want? Maybe a link to click on:

jobjar.tgz

Where Are They Coming From?

Everyone needs to reinvent the wheel sometimes, and this is my attempt at it. This Perl script'll show you today's referers for the visitors to your website, and give you a link back to that page. Con: Depends (ie, has stupidly hard-coded assumptions) on combined log format for Apache; if you make it publicly available, it may be abused by spammers. Pro: will decode Google and Yahoo! search strings. Wow, what a deal! Released under the GPL, baby.

Where Are They Coming From?: Brand, spankin' 1.0, baby. (You'll probably want to change the extension to '.cgi' to get it to work with Apache.)