Watch All The Movies,Part 2: Ninja Death II

"Ninja Death II" and "Ninja Death III", packaged by EastWestDVD.com, were picked up long ago at a dollar store for $1.99, and remained unwatched until today. There are lots of reviews of these films, but this one is mine.

"Ninja Death II" starts off with wonderful cheesy 70s music playing while ninjas bounce on a trampoline in front of a spotlight. Then there's a ninja in -- no word of a lie -- a gold lame suit:

He's apparently named Tiger Y. Then there's another ninja wearing a metal mask:

...fighting another ninja whose main skill appears to be sweating:

Then there's a flute player, who I can't find a picture of but who rounds out the 70s theme nicely. A guy practices Kung Fu by a waterfall, then he swims with a woman and writhes in pain while the woman laughs merrily. There's a brothel, because brothels maybe? There's a mother who dies to save her son but then isn't dead after all. There's a chicken-eating scene that is positively obscene. And it goes on from there.

If that sounds half-assed and disjoined, it's because it is. At a rough guess, this appears to be at least two and possibly as many as twelve separate movies edited together incoherently. IMDB claims this was directed by Jospeh Kuo, who seems to have made a ton of movies and been a pretty major figure in Taiwanese cinema. (Among other things, he directed Mystery of Chessboxing, from whom the Wu-Tang Clan got the name for the song of the same name.)

Top quote: "Just keep your concentration on your mind."

I don't have Part I around, but fortunately you can watch all three online c/o the good folks at Archive.org. Having gone through Part II, though, I honestly don't know how much difference this would have made to the story. I will be honest: I did not finish Part II, and will not be watching Part III; this is heading straight to the Sally Ann.