Go_elf_yourself


title: Go Elf Yourself date: Sun Jan 7 07:06:23 PST 2007

So this is 'way late. But a while back someone sent me a link to their Flash movie on www.elfyourself.com: a picture of their head on an elf, dancing and singing Xmas songs. Of course, at the end of it they offered you the chance to create one of your own. I was about to, when I noticed the terms of service. Check it out:

 GRANT OF RIGHTS.  By submitting a photograph or any other material
 (including, without limitation, vocal messages, text messages, or
 text) (each a "Submission"), I hereby grant to OMX, Inc., its
 subsidiaries and affiliated companies and each of their respective
 licensees, successors and assigns (collectively, "OfficeMax"), the
 unlimited right and permission to use the Submission or any part
 thereof (including, without limitation, my name, screen name, instant
 message name, or email address) throughout the universe, in
 perpetuity, in any manner or venue and for any purpose whatsoever,
 including, without limitation, for purposes of advertising, promotion
 or trade in promoting and publicizing OfficeMax and its products and
 services, by means of any and all media and devices whether now known
 or hereafter devised, which includes, without limitation, the
 unlimited right and permission to post the submission on the
 [reindeer.com, elf.com, pole.com, etc.] websites (collectively, the
 "Websites").  OfficeMax shall have the right, in its sole discretion,
 to edit, composite, morph, scan, duplicate or alter the Submission in
 any manner for any purpose which OfficeMax deems necessary or
 desirable, and I irrevocably waive any and all so-called moral rights
 I may have in the submission and I agree I shall have no right of
 approval, no claim to compensation, and no claim (including, without
 limitation, claims based upon invasion of privacy, defamation or right
 of publicity) arising out of any use, blurring, alteration, editing,
 morphing, distortion, illusionary effect, faulty reproduction,
 fictionalization, or use in any composite form of my name, picture,
 likeness, voice, and biographical information.

 GENERAL RELEASE AND LIMITATIONS ON LIABILITY.  By submitting my
 Submission, I agree that: (1) any and all disputes, claims, and causes
 of action arising out of or connected with the Submission shall be
 resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action; (2)
 any and all claims, judgements and awards shall be limited to actual
 out of pocket costs incurred, including costs associated with
 submitting the Submission, but in no event will attorneys' fees be
 awarded or recoverable; and (3) under no circumstances will I be
 permitted to obtain any award for, and I hereby knowingly and
 expressly waive all rights to seek, punitive, incidental or
 consequential damages and/or any other damages, other than actual out
 of pocket expenses, and/or any and all rights to have damage
 multiplied or otherwise increased.  I acknowledge and agree that
 OfficeMax is not responsible for any costs, injuries, losses, or
 damages of any kind arising from or in connection with: (i)
 transmission, or technical problems, failures, or malfunctions of any
 kind, whether originating with sender, with OfficeMax or otherwise,
 that may limit my ability to upload my Submission; and/or (ii) any
 injury or damage resulting from making the Submission (including,
 without limitation, claims, costs, injuries, losses and damages
 related to personal injuries, death, damage to, loss or destruction of
 property, or any claims, costs, injuries, losses or damages related to
 or based on my rights of publicity or privacy, or a claim that I have
 somehow been defamed or portrayed in a false light).

So: Office Max can take your picture and paste it into one of an Al-Qaida meeting. They can forward it on to the FBI. Not only that, they retain rights to the picture "throughout the universe, in perpetuity, in any manner or venue and for any purpose whatsoever". They can also spam you into submission long after you're dead. They could do this to the entire population of, say, Alberta, and you're not allowed to join a class-action lawsuit. And if you get sent to Guantanamo to rot out the rest of your existence, that's just tough; Office Max will not accept responsibility for that.

Incredible. Absolutely fucking incredible.