Whaddaya mean, there's no tcpdump?

Just spent half an hour digging around on my wife's phone to figure out why in heaven's name our wireless bandwidth goes away when it's got WiFi on. Turns out it's probably Google Photos backing up...probably. This is what comes of buying Turing devices (phone, router) that don't have a proper userland (and by "proper" I mean "has tcpdump or equivalent").