Budgeting

Years ago, my wife and I realized that, with two incomes, we had ended up in the habit of spending more than we realized. It had happened without thought, which disquieted us, so we sat down and figured out how much came in and how much we needed to spend. It wasn't anything too onerous, and while we saved some money that wasn't really the point; the point was to keep track of things, and to be on top of our money.

The habit has continued, more or less since then. Periodically we'll realize situations have changed, or enough things we've been meaning to talk about have queued up, that it's time to sit down with the spreadsheet again. A bottle of wine later, we've usually got things sorted out.

This week has been unusually clear and cold. Every night I've been looking up at the sky wishing I could go out, but it hasn't worked out -- I don't want to drive, I haven't got the new scope set up with wheels yet, I don't always like being on the front porch and having lights shine in my eyes. But today I realized I could do something different: go to bed on time, then get up at 3am. Let the scope cool outside for an hour, then go out to see Jupiter, Mars, Venus and the waning moon. Perfect!

But then the rest of the day happened. There were errands and library books and grocery runs. By the end of the day I was tired, really tired. I had a run-in with a virus earlier in the week, but seriously? Then I realized: I'd blown my budget.

Thursday my wife and I had a big talk -- nothing serious, just a night spent talking about all the things we talk about. We stayed up 'til 10.30, which when you get up at 5.20 every morning is not insignificant. Then Friday we stayed up to watch "Master of None" on Netflix and read in bed. And apparently, being (scare quotes) up late two nights in a row is all I can handle anymore, because I recognized just how tired and cranky I was.

I don't want to budget for this. I don't want to count hours of sleep, figure out where to trade two hours here for three hours there. I've made my peace, or at least stayed on the bemused/amazed side of the road, with getting older so far, but this, this is utter bullshit.