The Floating Head of Ayn Rand: A Timeline

May 14, 1976: Acting on a tip from an Objectivist Belgian shotputter, A=A finally find The Floating Head of Ayn Rand at the 1976 Montreal Olympics. The Leader finds her watching the Decathlon, and attempts to persuade her to return to the fold.

Tempers quickly flare between the two, as they are unable to agree on even the most basic of issues. In frustration The Leader pulls out a small folding fishing net and attempts to capture Rand. She panics, and levitates away so quickly that she cracks the roof of the Montreal Olympic Stadium with her head. Fortunately she is wearing a Montreal Expos souvenir batter's helmet, and is merely knocked unconscious. However, both the roof and Montreal's reputation (not helped by Mayor Jean Drapeau's infamous remark that "the Olympics can no more suffer a deficit than The Floating Head of Ayn Rand have a baby") suffer serious and long-lasting damage that persists to this day.

Rand falls back onto the playing field, disrupting the discus throw and costing Lichtenstein a gold medal. A=A operatives swarm the field, further disrupting events. They sieze Rand, place her in a styrofoam beer cooler, and run from the stadium.

Deprogramming takes place at the beautiful Montreal Airport Hilton. It lasts five days, and ends with Rand agreeing to be launched into space, in accordance with her original agreement with The Leader. As a reward, Rand is allowed buck-a-slice pizza. As a condition, she must first tell A=A that she doesn't like The Leader "that way." No one believes her.

Next: The Stars, Our Destination